Viisukuppila

This is the place to speak your mind about the entries in this contest. Entering this thread, however, is allowed only after casting your vote, so if you're yet to do that, well, do that first. Writing a critique in this thread will be rewarded with access to the excitingly updating scoreboard.

The first ever translation competition comments in English:

1) THE END IS NIGH (Manala). A very complete lyrics, good English vocabulary (much better than mine!). Special award to the expression "suffer in sullen sulphur lakes", excellent phonetical imitation of "Syvimmän sylen syvyyteen".

2) VENUS LIGHT (Planeetta). My own. I chose this one because it was the easiest one, and not too unpleasant to translate into English, compared to Meren, Kirkas kipinä or Rakkautta on rauhaa ei, and also not too unknown for me like Manala. All in all, this was a quite funny work to do, I enjoyed as I did not take it too serious, the result was a little crazy

I just started to translate literally, then some new ideas came when I was working on it. I am quite amused about some inventions:

- Why the horses? Simply because it was the only rhyme I could get with “crosses”

- Radiant love? I bet radiant is for scientific radiation use, not usable for love… But it was such an interesting word UFOPOLI provided in his direct translations

I am however quite satisfied about some other of my inventions. Let’s first see what the others say, I will tell about them later.

3) FANTASY (Meren). Mysterious atmosphere, good vocabulary also, award to the word "frostbitten". But this was such a short text that requirements are much higher for this one. This was not really special enough.

4) VENUS NUMBER THIRD (Planeetta). This lacked far too many syllabs! Even if the language is English, more flexible than Finnish, I think the number of syllabs must be better respected. You do not know exactly when to sing what, when there are so many possibilities. Ordinary story (probably me neither did not find any better one).

5) COLONIZING (Planeetta). This, on the contrary, was a very interesting story, still connected with spatial things. A lot of good inventions, like "locals - vocal" and "rising - colonising". However, also this one lacked some syllabs in at least one place: the word "alien" became very long.

6) SOUTHWEST TO CITADELS (Meren). This was so excellent and beautiful! The best title of all, shows developed imagination. The transforming of the “a-i-ee” into normal sentences succeeded very well too.

7) LOVE (Planeetta). This had some places where the order of words (“and people said this boy would a star be”) or the stress did not sound English but it sounded so funny, and the syllabs were better respected than in some other Planeetta lyrics. Not bad story either, although not so easy to perceive.

8) BRINGER OF DAWN (Kirkas kipinä). Good vocabulary and atmosphere, nothing bad to say about this. It however did not capture me so much than some others. A quite complete repertoire of the most useful English rhymes “night-light-fight-might” etc.

9) BY THE SEA (Meren). The suicide story suits well to this song and makes it being remembered. Rhythm problem in the last sentence though: the word “Finally” has too many syllabs for the music notes.

This round seemed to be a Heaven for a scifi/fantasy minded personality like me I liked Colonization and Bringer of Light most, but about every translation touched me in some level this time or at least I liked some lines.

Hey people, please comment a little on these! It seems we are the only ones...

You gotta wake up!