Viisukuppila

Please write here your comments on the competing entries in this year's preselection contest. Also, please don't read the contents of this thread if you're yet to cast your vote. Writing your comments here will grant you access to the constantly updating scoreboard, without which you're doomed to wait for the results until the day the voting ends.

I picked up my favourite quotes from each text. Most of the commentary will be in Finnish. That way I may get this done before Christmas.

1. Wonder
I'm waiting for it to conquer me
Straight and simple, perhaps even too simple. "Wonder" is good. - Kulkurin iltatähti -tyyppinen aloitus, jota käytin itse käännöksessä Kulkurityttö ja kuu (ALB 09). Anti jää laihaksi, vaikka ihme sopii echon paikalle mainiosti. Ovatko tähdet taivaalla yleensä riviin järjestyneinä? Kertoja myös kysyy, miksei kuu valaise. Tsekkaa, olisiko taivas pilvessä. Toinen säkeistö maistui täytesanailulta ("at least a bit something good"). Sympaattinen, mutta…

2. The pirates of the sea
We are the bad boys with no empathy
Suitable if not too obvious. Please don't remind me of Latvia 2008. - Merirosvojen loputon hyminä, jota myrskysää ja aurinkokaan eivät hiljennä, kuulosti hupaisalta. Välillä kielitaitoni loppui: "Likaamme sinut ja pieksemme sinua muinaisilla vöillämme" - öh? Varma aihevalinta pelastanee pisteille.

3. Naked
There are still obstacles and open questions
What a charming little love story. - Kertsissä tiivistetään hyvin, ja tunnelma on kohdallaan. Ehjä ja luonteva teksti omassa lajissaan. Carpentersin (We've only just begun ym.) tyyppistä söpöilyä ilman häiriöitä tai yliyrittämistä.

4. PewDiePie
Teenage boys, fap and rejoice
Certainly worth a song of his own! Couldn't help laughing. - Käännöskisojen sivistävä vaikutus tuli taas esiin. Seuraan niin huonosti aikaani, etten tuntenut näinkään merkittävää henkilöä ennestään. Kilpailun viihdyttävin sanoitus, vai pitikö tämän olla kuivan asiallinen raportti aikamme suurmiehestä? Nobel-ainesta?

5. Picturophile
But why does it feel so good?
Pictophile (< pictophilia) would be simply someone aroused by pictures or pornography. Not using the standard term might suggest that there is something more extreme going on. For this guy the picture has to be a painting, a work of art, and not just any picture? - Enemmän hassu kuin uskottava, varsin hyvä siltikin. Avoimuus kasvaa tekstin edetessä: ensin kertoja haluaisi tehdä juttuja kultansa kanssa, vaikka tämä on vain maalaus, myöhemmin koska tämä on vain maalaus.

6. A song of ice and fire
Reach and fondle breasts with bated breath
I have neither read the books nor watched the television series but I guess it doesn't matter. Impressive. - Käytin arvioinneissa sanakirjaa tarvittaessa, tässä sekään ei aina auttanut. Mitä tarkoittaa esim. "lighting a blight"? Yleinen fiilis oli joka tapauksessa niin vangitseva, että unohdin biisin olevan kevyehkö renkutus.

7. Clam
A mermaid peach was swimming by
I love these crazy preselection songs from Belarus. The new lyrics are amusing as well. - Tärähtäneen parodian vaikutelmaa vahvisti loputtomiin toistuva kertosäkeistö. Simpukka (conchita) on päähenkilö ja merenneito ui vain ohi, vai onko simpukka kielikuva, joka tarkoittaa, öö…?

8. Broken
I'm through with reason, I'm through with playing nice
Broken like a glass thrown at the wall is a strong image. The rest is less convincing. - Seinään heitetty lasi on hyvä, mutta se ei vielä riitä. Alkutekstissä on niin paljon toistoa, että kaikki sanat pitäisi hyödyntää tarkasti. Clam onnistui, tässä lukija jää odottamaan enemmän. Hauska yksityiskohta (tahallinenko, vaikea sanoa), ettei vihainen päähenkilö painu heti tiehensä vaan aikoo olla vapaa "jonakin päivänä" (some day). Näinköhän siitä koskaan tulee mitään?

9. Nightingale
Cosy freedom warms me up, till the serenade runs out
Didn't quite reach the atmosphere of the original lyrics. - Satakieli sopii paikalleen, mutta teksti maistuu liikaa täytesanailulta. On suuria sanoja kuten maanjäristys, mutta mitään konkreettista ei sanota. Jos hopelessness on toivottomuus, hopelessnesslessness olisi varmaankin toivottomuudettomuus.

10. Don't say a word
Don't tell a lie when you've been burned
It was good to learn that more wrong and wronger are both OK (I had to check it). But what on earth would the lady do with another moon? - Sujuvasti kerrottu musiikin mukainen perustarina. "Se parhaiten nauraa, joka viimeksi nauraa" on tietysti monikäyttöinen sanonta. Tässä en oikeastaan nähnyt, miksi kumpikaan nauraisi.

11. Werther's fate
His lifeline has gone far too thin
Nice to see that Goethe hasn't been forgotten. The narration could be a little more natural. - "Itke vaan jos tunnet niin / Syöksy vaikka sementtiin", lauloi Anita Hirvonen jo vuonna 1967. Aihe on hyvin keksitty, toteutus hiukan väkinäinen. Sama ongelma kuin käännöksessä Broken: yksi toimiva perusidea ei riitä pitämään koko sanoitusta pystyssä.

12. Purplish introspection
ASCII art depicting social misfits, loonies, failures
Confusing, to say the least. One of the medal candidates. - Hauskaa joulua. Fragmentaarinen, sanamusiikkia, mutta yllättävän sopiva. Kielellisesti yhtä vahva kuin käännös 6, jos uskallan kielestä mitään sanoa.

13. Incognito
Give your pal a polonium dosage
I have no idea what this is about. - Kuuluisa "sateenvarjomurha" tapahtui Lontoossa vuonna 1978. Uhri oli bulgarialainen kirjailija ja toimittaja Georgi Markov. Polonium koitui Aleksandr Litvinenkon kohtaloksi vuonna 2006. Otsikon poimin Ed Brubakerin ja Sean Phillipsin sarjakuvasta, josta en tiedä mitään. Kaksikon muut sarjat Criminal ja Fatale tunnen, ja ne ovat loistavia.

Few words in English, the rest part of the comments in Finnish. - Tämäkin arviointikokeilu tulee parantamaan taas ymmärrystäni pikkuisen. Tiedostan täysin, että luen ja kirjoitan ihan liian vähän englantia vapaa-ajallani... Onneksi Kuppila tarjoaa ratkaisun tähänkin ongelmaan. Muuten: kun viittaan sanoitukseen englanniksi, onko se it vai they? Koska periaatteessa sanoitukselle ei ole suoraa vastinetta, mutta siltikin puhun vain siitä yhdestä sanateosmöykystä.

THE PIRATES OF THE SEA
NIGHTINGALE
Omani. Mine. It was so weird to make lyrics in Eglish. I'm sure that I'll be the last and the second last in this competition. Nightingale was the first "poem" I ever wrote in English, and it really was an instructive experience. I sent The Pirates of the Sea a few hours before the deadline, so it is clearly my "second" work in this competition. But I don't know... maybe I'm even more satisfied to TPotS.

sziget kirjoitti:2. The pirates of the sea
Merirosvojen loputon hyminä, jota myrskysää ja aurinkokaan eivät hiljennä, kuulosti hupaisalta. Välillä kielitaitoni loppui: "Likaamme sinut ja pieksemme sinua muinaisilla vöillämme" - öh?

En ole ikinä nauranut näin paljon. Sattuu vatsaan! Ei, minulla ei ole näihin kohtiin mitään sen suurempaa perustelua, paitsi että likaamisen sijaan yritin hakea paikkojen sotkemista. Voisinkohan pikkuhiljaa lopettaa tämän hihittämisen? Ilmeisesti en.

WONDER
Little bit too "teen" and depressed for the original lyrics. But though it was simple, I liked it. And it wasn't too complicating to understand.
Ei huono, vaikka olikin melko yksinkertainen. Masentuneisuutta ja yksinäisyyttä oltiin käsitelty hyvin.

NAKED
Excellent work! But after rereading I started to think if it was little bit overly sweet nonsense. The first impression was good, that's the main point!
Laulettuna kuulosti todella vakuuttavalta, mutta jossain vaiheessa tuli sellainen "onpas nyt imelää liibalaabaa"-olo. Ehkä liibalaaba oli silti hyvä ratkaisu... hmm.

PEWDIEPIE
I have no idea why, but these lyrics work. It was fun, a little bit clumsy, yes, but very enjoyable.
PewDiePie on hieno mies, ja ansaitsee ehdottomasti sanoituksensa. Tässä oli puolensa, mutta toisaalta, oliko tämä vähän liian kömpelö?

PICTUROPHILE
Awwww how cute. I can't say anything else, this was perfect.
Ei lisättävää suomeksikaan.

A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE
Wow these were a bit... harder lyrics. Now I need a dictionary. Let's see. Ok, dictionary is useful. Well, they were very impressive lyrics, but I'm not sure were they too complicated.
Hieman eri kaliiperissa mitä edelliset sanoitukset kielellisessä ilmauksessa. Meni melkein liiankin monimutkaiseksi.

CLAM
I don't know why, but they weren't very fluent lyrics. Everything was clearly good, but they didn't make me feel pleasant or something. Sorry I can't say anything clever about this.
Merenneitopersikka? Muutenkin vaikutti hieman kummalliselta sanoitukselta, enkä ihan löytänyt yhteyttä alkuteokseen.

BROKEN
Very simple lyrics, but still they were working so well. I like the anger of these lyrics.
Varsinkin kertosäe oli todella toimiva ja onnistunut, muutenkin sanoitus ja biisi istuivat toisiinsa hyvin!

DON'T SAY A WORD
Wow this was amazing! I love it, there were lots of words in the original lyrics, but lyricist have done a great job. One of the best.
Ehdottomasti yksi parhaista. Paljon sanoitettavaa, mutta hommasta oltiin selvitty upeasti.

WERTHER'S FATE
Little bit more complicating text after few easier. But though it was kinda hard, I still liked it a lot! The language was aggressive enough for the original text.
Toimiva, vihainen, tykkäsin. Vähän erikoisempi sanoitus mitä hetkeen.

PURPLISH INTROSPECTION
During I read this text with the original audio, I didn't understand ANYTHING. Ok, dictionary is my best friend again... Well, now I understand it in a some way, but in fact it might be too classy for my taste.
Olisi mielenkiintoista, jos populäärimusiikkilyriikka olisi tällaista, eikä mitään "Ai lav juu, juu aar pjuutiful". Sori, mutta tää meni aika voimakkaasti yli ymmärryksen. Takuulla on hieno teos ja niin edelleen, mutta ehken minä vain kuulu kohderyhmään.

INCOGNITO
A nice ending for the competition. Quite enjoyable and simply good.
Pätevä lopetus kilpailulle. Haastavahko teksti, mutta ei mahdoton ymmärtää.

sziget kirjoitti:Carpentersin (We've only just begun ym.) tyyppistä söpöilyä ilman häiriöitä tai yliyrittämistä.

I like the comparison, and I'm a fan of the Carpenters' "wedding songs", especially For All We Know.

sziget kirjoitti:Hauska yksityiskohta (tahallinenko, vaikea sanoa), ettei vihainen päähenkilö painu heti tiehensä vaan aikoo olla vapaa "jonakin päivänä" (some day). Näinköhän siitä koskaan tulee mitään?

From the moment you close the door on a relationship, at least in my experience, it still takes a long time to be truly free. In the worst case, it may be the ghosts never completely leave you.

TomppaJr kirjoitti:Muuten: kun viittaan sanoitukseen englanniksi, onko se it vai they?

I would say "the lyrics are". So, plural.

TomppaJr kirjoitti:Excellent work! But after rereading I started to think if it was little bit overly sweet nonsense.

I often say you shouldn't make biographical assumptions based on an author's work, but sometimes one has to write about the reality as well. It's funny you should use the word "nonsense" to describe the only lyrics contest entry I've ever written that is, word for word, a factual description of my present life

If only the qualified Eurovision songs were as listenable and fun as these ones, we'd be having a blast!

1) WONDER

It seems as though the lyricist has used 'wonder' synonymously with 'miracle'. Probably the latter word was more suitable for the intended meaning. Nevertheless, the song is very listenable and works fine with the lyrics, although there is room for improvement in polishing technical aspects.

2) THE PIRATES OF THE SEA

Reminds me of Abney Park. The band itself sounds so 'concept-y' that it would be hard to imagine any other lyrics really. This makes it hard to get overly excited about it. I did love the rhyme ending 'stealing properties'. It's whimsical.

3) NAKED

These look like very typical good pop lyrics in English pop today. I would be fooled into accepting them as the real deal. Some of the concepts are a bit worn out though, and I find it difficult to feel deeply about them. Nevertheless, I acknowledge this as a good piece of work.

4) PEWDIEPIE

YouTube's number one most viewed channel. There are many references to staples of the show, including to goat simulator, fap jokes, the 'nailed it' popout image etc. The pompous and entirely over-the-top nature of the song fits in with the theme, in my opinion.

5) PICTUROPHILE

A different title could have worked better, in my opinion. I like how the lyrics can be understood ambiguously: either the narrator is in love with a painting or the object of love just feels like one in the eyes of the beholder? The lyrics capture well the simplistic rhythm of the music. Good work.

6) A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE

I wanted to write some rhyme-heavy lyrics echoing inside the head of Cersei Lannister, without exaggerating her vileness (in her own mind, she feels almost trendy in her bitterness). The music includes reverb and echoes in many parts, so the lyrics try to play with that. It's also supposed to fit a general 'jealous incestual'-feel of lust for anyone who could symbolically relate to the witch. I was afterwards wondering if 'ever-wired' would have been a more clear spelling and whether 'A Lannister set loose' might have been more precise. The perks of last minute poetry.

7) CLAM

There is something poetic and 'Tuomas Holopainen' about these lyrics. I love the rhymes, although I would naturally prefer the more British (or Canadian) English spelling 'grey' rather than the American 'gray'; especially in this year celebrating Shakespeare's 450th birthday. [EDIT: I might actually be completely off track with the Shakespeare remark, since the spelling 'grey' only became standard in British English in later centuries. Gray might actually be the more traditional variant.] There is a beautiful airy simplicity in the lines, such as 'I'm stashing you, my sweetest heart//We have turned love into an art'. It's like a Valentine's poem. The language and expressions are very well thought out. I am surprised by TomppaJr's issues with the lyrics, but perhaps a dictionary-approach won't do justice to this piece. (Words like 'peach' have a slightly different connotation in English than in Finnish.)

8) BROKEN

The catchiest tune of the lot. The lyrics themselves are quite typical, but as in entry number 3, the output is rather professional. The rhymes are clear, simple and very singable. I did enjoy it.

9) NIGHTINGALE

In my view, the lyrics were the least impressive language-wise in the competition. For example 'suffer and pain is gone'? Does the author mean 'suffering and pain is gone'? From technical aspects to artistic, everything falls a tad bit short. It occasionally feels like a direct translation from Finnish to English, rather than something natural.

10) DON'T SAY A WORD

Somewhat clichéd lyrics that fade into mediocrity (fifth place) in the competition. I don't have much to say about this one. It is certainly good. Is it memorable, though?

11) WERTHER'S FATE

Without the Werther reference, the lyrics would be decidedly one-noted... the lyrics strike me as angrier than the melody, leading to a stylistic contradiction. I got a bit fatigued by the end. However, the Werther reference and the dark theme do please me enough to save this from zero points, for sure. "No lady can't stand guy like him" seems to be an unintended double negative, or perhaps it is a statement in favour of the poetic freedom of expression for closet-emos.

12) PURPLISH INTROSPECTION

I would have liked it more if the title had been Fable or Fabrication. 'Purplish introspection' sounds a bit wannabe-avant-garde to me... and so does the body of the text itself. Nevertheless, the lyrics inspired many thoughts and images and reading it through was never boring. When we combine this success with flawless technical skill, high praise is in order.

13) INCOGNITO

I really hated this song. It seemed to go nowhere for forever. It was difficult to concentrate on the lyrics, because the music comes as a steady porridge of words without much intonation. Frankly it was more fun to read the text without the music, which is quite a shame. Normally music brings words to life, but here it just dulls them down. The text itself is quite quirky and tightly theme-oriented, written like an adventure novel for kids. "Give your pal a polonium dosage//Tools are many and you know the usage" would work wonders for a rap song! What a wasted opportunity. My score is not as high as it could have been in other circumstances. But in the poem's own words, 'Life isn't fair'.

The contest was indeed great fun. It was even more interesting than usually to see the scoreboard. In most cases I didn't guess who was the lyricist. There were also some refreshing surprises. I thought nkorppi could have written Purplish introspection and UFOPOLI A song of ice and fire. Picturophile was of good quality, I just wasn't sure by whom. Clam was another hard nut to crack. It had some clever lines, then the chorus was repeated so many times that it made an enormously weird impression.

UFOPOLI kirjoitti:It's funny you should use the word "nonsense" to describe the only lyrics contest entry I've ever written that is, word for word, a factual description of my present life

I still haven't really tried that. Perhaps I should get a life so that I could write about it. No, it seems I just need fictional characters or my imagination dries out. They have ideas, goals, feelings and everything.

nkorppi kirjoitti:13) INCOGNITO
I really hated this song. It seemed to go nowhere for forever. It was difficult to concentrate on the lyrics, because the music comes as a steady porridge of words without much intonation.

The Portuguese audience might agree with you as the song didn't do very well in the qualification. I found it powerful, extravagant and cinema-like, which gave me an excuse for some escapism. And now that you mention, this "porridge of words" is certainly a relevant feature, whether one likes it or not. She sounds so agitated that her story must be of great importance.

nkorppi kirjoitti:The lyrics themselves are quite typical, but as in entry number 3, the output is rather professional.

Thanks, mate! I do feel more comfortable writing English lyrics than Finnish. And now that I think about it, the language choice does affect the output. By the way, if you want to know what an actual profressional would have done, now's your chance because an official English version of Mea culpa exists. Frankly, I think mine is more interesting

And yes, before opening the contest, I considered whether this would be a reason to exclude it from the selection, but I asked Timoteus for an opinion, and agreed with him that it would be okay as long as the English version was never performed in any stage of the preselection. And after all, it would have been impossible to keep track of all different versions recorded in every country.

sziget kirjoitti:Clam was another hard nut to crack.

I like this image

sziget kirjoitti:

UFOPOLI kirjoitti:It's funny you should use the word "nonsense" to describe the only lyrics contest entry I've ever written that is, word for word, a factual description of my present life

I still haven't really tried that. Perhaps I should get a life so that I could write about it. No, it seems I just need fictional characters or my imagination dries out.

Sometimes you just want to say something so much that the words flow out of you. That's what happened with Naked. The chorus came first, and then I realized I had written something I was presently feeling myself. From there on, I decided to stick to facts.

Another reason I did this was that I've been asked by many people (mostly concerning my own songs) whether I'm at all capable of writing a "happy love song", so well here you have one. And if I ever had wondered (I had, as a matter of fact) why there's so much art being created about love, I wouldn't anymore because I've found myself what a powerful motivator love is.

sziget kirjoitti:And now that you mention, this "porridge of words" is certainly a relevant feature, whether one likes it or not. She sounds so agitated that her story must be of great importance.

I agree. The way she tells her story is engaging. On the other hand, I also do love the song and was seriously considering it myself.

WONDER
I like the lyrics, but they feel too simple. Well, it is not supposed to bring out a ''wow'', yet still not enough. Also, ''I am wandering into a place'' sounds a bit unusual. I mean, it's correct, but it would be better if you had used it in the past time.

THE PIRATES OF THE SEA
I love this one! Obviously the fate of the second lyrics was to be something marine again, though. It catches the original song up quite well. However, I must admit that calling the pirates ''the bad boys'' just reminded me of a porn title.

NAKED
There, I see a good start for a lovely couple. I hope there will be no obstacles and open questions for them anymore. Lovely and hearty... Congrats!

PEWDIEPIE
Have you ever considered representing France with these lyrics on ESC? The lyrics are just so random.

PICTUROPHILE
Good job! I do like the inventive title.

A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE
Hey hey hey, send your Lannister back! No rose is thornless and some songs are ''way-out''less.

BROKEN
Well, son... This sounds like a little bit Finnish of you. Let's hope you are not broke so that you can buy new glasses

NIGHTINGALE
Gosh, fortunately ''Consuelo Luz - Los Bilbilicos'' (the Nightingales) exists not to let me hate nightingales after those lyrics.

DON'T SAY A WORD
Yay! Seemingly it was high time to kick him away! The lyrics are just so good and go pretty well with the original song. Congrats!

WERTHER'S FATE
Hmm... Don't you think the absence of an article is dusturbing? ''No lady can't stand guy like him''. This feels so incomplete.

PURPLISH INTROSPECTION
Such ornate words! Fortunately, it makes more sense than PewDiePie. Still, the lyrics were going to smother me. By the way, it would be so ingenious if you talked about the reindeers, as well.

INCOGNITO
I like the theme the song has. It is a good one for the end.

Sorry to piss on the party, but I think it is slightly absurd to assume that the same person wrote Clam as the person writing comments here.... smells fishy. Apologies if my rude skepticism is unfounded. But the two seem to represent completely different levels of command of the English language. Let me add that Clam was my favourite... but I can hardly make sense of some of these comments. 'Use past time'? Meaning past tense? And "Catches the song up well"???

Clam has perfect English. And I don't buy it.

Well, the person who wrote Clam is me. So is the one who wrote the critiques. Firstly, let me remind you of the fact that there are various expressions in English language and one can be inattentive every now and then while speaking or writing a language which is not his native one. Anyways, if you had taken heed of what I had written, you could have seen that it is ''THE past tense'' which is used in American English to refer to ''past tense''. Thereto, I hope this will wean you away from your preconceived opinion.

Burak Bsr kirjoitti:Well, the person who wrote Clam is me. So is the one who wrote the critiques. Firstly, let me remind you of the fact that there are various expressions in English language and one can be inattentive every now and then while speaking or writing a language which is not his native one. Anyways, if you had taken heed of what I had written, you could have seen that it is ''THE past tense'' which is used in American English to refer to ''past tense''. Thereto, I hope this will wean you away from your preconceived opinion.

The issue is not with "THE", but the fact that you said 'past time' rather than 'past tense'.... and the expression 'to catch up' in place of 'to capture the atmosphere'.

I still don't easily believe you wrote the lyrics without some outside help, but this could be wrong (the song didn't have so many lines to write). There has been foul play in earlier years with new lyricists, including double entries and fake scores... so just being cautious. Anyhow, Clam looks to be written by a native English speaker, or at least verified/corrected/machinated somehow to look that way. Respect for the nice work...! I do hope it is genuine.

PewDiePie is not a random collection of words... it describes the most watched YouTube channel on the internet. Also, I can't get a very precise idea of your reasons for liking/disliking the entries. For example, I have zero idea what you mean by your Song of Ice and Fire comment, and I remain rather puzzled. Sending Lannister back and "some songs are wayoutless"? What do you even mean? You simply don't like the theme? Or something else?

For me, it seems very weird to relate these unintelligible comments and fluent, perfected work like Clam to the same person. But who knows.

I was impressed by the overall quality of the entries. The foreignese-to-Finnish contests have yielded worse line-ups at times despite everyone writing in their native language. The revelation that we have (a) guest author(s) participating didn't come as a huge surprise.

1) WONDER

A competent entry all around. Yet I'm sorry to say that it's also quite nondescript. I have a habit of reading the entries once or twice on day one and then doing a last runthrough on the deadline day. I had more or less forgotten this one was in the lineup. The text makes good album material but lacks the standout potential required in a competition context, much like the song.

2) THE PIRATES OF THE SEA

The contents are what the title indicates. Hard to take seriously (rugged men singing about their criminal activies, yeah right) but not entertaining enough for a fun/joke entry. But I don't know what to make of the original either, so go figure. In a way, the song does have a similar provincial, naivish vibe.

There are some issues with the stress / emphasis in the verses and the bridge. The chorus is technically fine. Though my single biggest issue with this entry is that it reminded me of Latvia 2008.

3) NAKED

A concise text can be even more of a challenge to a writer than a long one. The author has done a good job here, managing to pack a strong message about absolute openness into a chorus of only 17 syllables.

I was a little less taken by the verses. They are still well-written, of course, but maybe something else than a timeline of a love story would make more of an impression there. Don't ask me what. I don't know.

4) PEWDIEPIE

This one made by far the strongest first impression on me but it probably had something of a genre advantage, being one of the very few comedy entries. Whereas I recognised there were several great entries, the others didn't penetrate my armor and truly touch me. This one made me laugh out loud on the first run.

And that was without knowing anything about PewDiePie, never heard of him before. The text was self-explanatory enough. Of course there were fewer fine details to be discovered on further runs but the concept didn't need depth.

5) PICTUROPHILE

Apparently inspired by the NF performance which featured an unusual prop, a lady painting on a canvas. The concept of the text is just as wtf, sexual attraction to artwork. I don't know if this is a real paraphilia, and I'd rather keep it that way.

The text flows well and gets the story told nicely. The song doesn't have a proper chorus or much of a build, so it lends itself poorly to story-telling. I would have wanted the text to get a bit deeper but I understand there's no room.

6) A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE

There's a gap in my general knowledge. I've never watched Game of Thrones. I can recognise and enjoy the quality writing but I fear I've missed some references and subtleties that could have made the difference between a good entry and the top of the crop.

Nevertheless, the text works fine on its own and suits the dramatics of the song.

7) CLAM

I hadn't realised the song is so repetitive. The author has come up with a strong, allegoric chorus for it. Even with endless repetition, it works.

The last new line of the entry reads "We have turned love into an art" which doubles as a self-review. I like the verses but wasn't able to figure out what on earth a mermaid peach is. Google finds some fan art but it seems to be a particular character depicted as a mermaid.

8) BROKEN

A well-written text for a pop song but the hardest to say much about. The usual break-up story told in an effective but expected way in a rather ordinary song.

9) NIGHTINGALE

This entry features a rather hefty amount of unidiomatic and even ungrammatical language. I assume others have already given examples, so I won't go through the trouble. The overall impression is that the author tried to write something more sophisticated than he is able to (says the author of # 12).

I don't want to dishearten the author. The concept itself is fine. The author is in the right general direction and trying the right tricks but a better grasp of English is required to pull them off.

11) WERTHER'S FATE

Name-checking Werther all the way in the title seemed rather unnecessary to me when the implied meaning is as simple as "kill yourself". It'd make sense if a parallel had been drawn between Werther's situation and the one in the text, but that's not the case. It's just an unconnected add-on.

There's some sloppy writing in the verses but the text improves as it goes on, a rare feat. The chorus is good and and the bridge is ace.

13) INCOGNITO

Ah, an excellent action-movie-themed take on a passionate song. Can't have been an easy song to cover technically, either. Especially without any filler words or lines that are only there to make up the syllable count.

I loved the structure of the song, the pairs of parallels thrown in the chorus in particular, and the twist, of course. Superb work.

________________________________________

And some words about my own entries. I wish I had had some actual inspiration because neither is the best I can do. I had to use dubious means to come up with anything at all.

12) PURPLISH INTROSPECTION

This text depicts the deep inner turmoil of... nah, who am I fooling? Song choice: http://www.random.org/ The text itself: http://coyotecult.com/tools/randomwordgenerator.php

I drew a random word for each unique line of the entry. The original set was hot potato, theme song, peccadillo, bookshelf, unload, vacant, vitiate, tonsil, knitwear, renunciation, absentee, prolongation, uninspiring, generic, sixty, mailman, ASCII, tomboy, verge and heinous.

After a first sketch, I changed some parts where the readers' BullshitO'meter™ would certainly have gone off the scale. Hence, not all the words are there. In particular, I drew three new words for the opening lines (chastise, atonal and swirl).

If you did find a meaning somewhere, it probably says more about the capabilities of the human mind in finding patterns in nonsense. No coherent meaning was attempted. Call it a litmus test if you wish. The foreignese-to-Finnish contests sometimes have almost as nonsensical entries trying to pass (and sometimes passing) as profound art.

10) DON'T SAY A WORD

The second deadline extension brought about this exercise on constrained writing. I limited myself to the top 500 words in Wiktionary's word frequency list of contemporary poetry. The process was more fun than I thought it'd be. The text it spawned... well, at least it's better than # 12.

Both of these should be safely in the bottom 5 if the results make any sense.

sziget kirjoitti:It was good to learn that more wrong and wronger are both OK (I had to check it).

I don't know where you checked it from but wronger is nonstandard. You could only use it for archaic or comedic effect. The latter was intended here.

It is, by the way, not the first time I've used wronger in lyrics. In ESC Nation's Alternative Lyrics Contest I once covered Germany 1976 with "You are wrong, wronger than wrong" (repeated ad nauseam). Repetitions of the same line make up about 90 % of the lyrics. Unfortunately, I did a poor job with the remaining 10 %.

TomppaJr kirjoitti:Muuten: kun viittaan sanoitukseen englanniksi, onko se it vai they? Koska periaatteessa sanoitukselle ei ole suoraa vastinetta, mutta siltikin puhun vain siitä yhdestä sanateosmöykystä.

Ongelman voi kiertää käyttämällä sanoituksesta jotakin muuta sanaa kuin lyrics. Itse pyöritin esim. sanoja text ja entry. Jälkimmäinen tarkoittaa kilpailutyötä eikä sitä voi tietenkään käyttää sanoituksesta ei-kilpailullisissa yhteyksissä. Käyttökelpoisen käännösvastineen puuttumista harmittelin aiemmin joulukalenteriketjussa.

Timoteus kirjoitti: I like the verses but wasn't able to figure out what on earth a mermaid peach is.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peach_(color)

Taivas sininen saapui uniini.... Knowing how to use peach poetically as a colour, but not being a native speaker of English. All of that made me very suspicious about the author. Oh well.

Ah, thanks. The word order threw me off. I failed to consider the possibility that peach could be an adjective. Such a word order is possible in poetry, of course.

Timoteus kirjoitti:They are still well-written, of course, but maybe something else than a timeline of a love story would make more of an impression there.

That's well said, because a chronological description of events is exactly what I was trying to write there

Timoteus kirjoitti:If you did find a meaning somewhere, it probably says more about the capabilities of the human mind in finding patterns in nonsense. No coherent meaning was attempted.

Hahaha The perfect revenge of the "Wikipedia translation". You got us there, well done!

However, I can say about my own judging that I wasn't looking for any particular meaning; it's just the the text pleased me. Meaning is overrated anyway

nkorppi kirjoitti:Knowing how to use peach poetically as a colour, but not being a native speaker of English. All of that made me very suspicious about the author.

Perhaps the author himself will reveal what he intended with that particular choice of words. In any case, I find this kind of public accusations out of place and distasteful. And most certainly this isn't the way we should be welcoming new participants, is it?

Burak Bsr kirjoitti:there are various expressions in English language and one can be inattentive every now and then while speaking or writing a language which is not his native one.

Seems obvious to me. Discussion becomes impossible if one has to pretend to be as good as a native speaker and stay alert to every word all the time.

Timoteus kirjoitti:I don't know where you checked it from but wronger is nonstandard. You could only use it for archaic or comedic effect. The latter was intended here.

I checked it here. I don't know if "to be wronger" is more unusual than wronger in general. If you think I didn't catch your intentions you couldn't be righter. At least I didn't punish the lyrics because of the form.

nkorppi kirjoitti:

Timoteus kirjoitti: I like the verses but wasn't able to figure out what on earth a mermaid peach is.

Taivas sininen saapui uniini.... Knowing how to use peach poetically as a colour

If you say so. I thought the mermaid peach was simply a peach of a mermaid like a peach of a girl, guy, car or anything. A nice, juicy, good-looking example of a mermaid.

sziget kirjoitti: If you say so. I thought the mermaid peach was simply a peach of a mermaid like a peach of a girl, guy, car or anything. A nice, juicy, good-looking example of a mermaid.

That's exactly what I meant. Thank you for your savvy!
Peach: Something very lovely or wonderful; also, a very lovely and attractive woman, a peach of a girl.

I don't think it is distasteful.... there is no need to be gullible... or to withold suspicions if they seem well-founded. If I suspect something, I will say it directly without beating around the bush or pretending something else. I find it the epitome of respect to say things honestly how they come across. Sorry to say, but this is exactly how I would (rarely?) welcome some new members, given what has happened in the past.

The suggested use of peach is informal and does not fit in with the rather traditional style of the text. If I had understood that this was the intended use, rather than a colour, I would perhaps have ranked the entry one spot lower.

Anyway, I think there is something (obviously) dodgy about this entry and I reserve the right to do that. And if you disagree, go eat shit.

I really believe that if one writes comments about other people's work, (which is by no means necessary), it would be respectful to put the basic effort into it (just like putting effort into the lyrics writing), so that the comments are clear and understandable in a rudimentary way, at least.

nkorppi kirjoitti:The suggested use of peach is informal and does not fit in with the rather traditional style of the text.

That's what I was wondering. I did discover this meaning during the voting period but rejected the interpretation.

The usage examples I found were quite narrow, too. Most of them had the structure "a peach of a <noun>" and the rest were very simple sentences like "he's a real peach".

UFOPOLI kirjoitti:That's well said, because a chronological description of events is exactly what I was trying to write there

What I forgot to mention was that the entry felt more tangible and real than the rest of the line-up. No surprise given the back story.

Like sziget, I prefer to write fictional texts. Having or not having a life has little to do with it. The problem is that the rejection of a personal text feels personal. It's soul-crushing even though the voters are judging the lyrics, not the event or circumstances that inspired them. It's safer to do fiction.

UFOPOLI kirjoitti:Hahaha The perfect revenge of the "Wikipedia translation". You got us there, well done!

However, I can say about my own judging that I wasn't looking for any particular meaning; it's just the the text pleased me. Meaning is overrated anyway

I really don't know what to make of the result. Did I accidentally produce a piece of art or were the voters completely out of their minds? Or does the truth lie somewhere in between?

I don't think it makes much sense that it would mean 'peach' as in 'peach of a girl'. But I frankly don't think burak knows what Clam is about. Or that he/she wrote it himself/herself. Maybe UFOPOLI wrote it or offered a helping hand to his friend? Impossible to know.

Timoteus kirjoitti:I really don't know what to make of the result. Did I accidentally produce a piece of art or were the voters completely out of their minds? Or does the truth lie somewhere in between?

Both. But maybe the standard needed to be even higher for anything to really stand out from this exciting text generator magic. So there is probably room to improve for everyone. English might be more conducive to random lyrics than Finnish? And to some extent, I do consider myself to have been out of my mind, in hindsight. It is enlightening, though.

nkorppi kirjoitti:I really believe that if one writes comments about other people's work, (which is by no means necessary), it would be respectful to put the basic effort into it (just like putting effort into the lyrics writing), so that the comments are clear and understandable in a rudimentary way, at least.

I disagree. There can't be any quality standards either for the lyrics or the comments. Almost anything is better than nothing. Some of us are also ready to offer more detailed comments if someone asks for them.

Timoteus kirjoitti:

nkorppi kirjoitti:The suggested use of peach is informal and does not fit in with the rather traditional style of the text.

That's what I was wondering. I did discover this meaning during the voting period but rejected the interpretation.

As said before, I found the song weird and the lyrics amusing. Even if Clam was not a comical text as clearly as PewDiePie, I could only assume that the stylistic discord was intentional. I use discords like that in my light-hearted and not-so-serious texts all the time. I also love good old slapstick comedy but sometimes less is enough.

sziget kirjoitti:I disagree. There can't be any quality standards either for the lyrics or the comments. Almost anything is better than nothing.

The number of participants bothering to comment at all has never been high. Imposing criteria would further reduce that number. It would be a bad idea. The only relevant question is which comments the contest's moderator qualifies sufficient for awarding the scoreboard link for, and for that no general rules are needed.